


Teenagers Are Scary, Man

by Aesops_Tables



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, they literally just adopt a kid and then are like "dude this kids a demon"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:20:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesops_Tables/pseuds/Aesops_Tables
Summary: Jon and Martin adopt Callum. thats it, thats the fic.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 3
Kudos: 103





	Teenagers Are Scary, Man

"Martin, we can't  _ possibly _ \--"

"What's stopping us? He clearly wants to get out of this place as much as you do! It would make all the other kids' lives easier, too!"

Jon sighed. "Do you realize how difficult dragging a 13 year old boy through various apocalyptic hellscapes would be? You were a teenager once. Remember how rebellious you were during that time?"

"I spent most of my teenage years caring for my mother, Jon. Can't really be rebellious towards the same person you're caring for, can you?" He did  _ not _ sound impressed. 

"I--you're right. Sorry." They didn't speak for a few seconds, both staring at their shoes or kicking the grass awkwardly.

It was Martin who finally spoke up. He seemed determined to bring Callum with them. "...So? Can we bring him?"

"He's not a  _ pet _ , Martin...We'd have to ask him, first. And I doubt he'd want to follow some miserable old men around the apocalypse just so we can kill some guy." Jon looked smug, absolutely certain that he had won this round.

He was incorrect, of course.

"Of  _ course _ I want to help you guys kill a guy! That sounds so badass! When do we leave?"

Martin looked absolutely beside himself with joy. "As soon as you finish packing a bag! I will warn, you though, we do still have a bit of a way ahead of us before we get to actually kill the guy."

"That's fine. I'm great at walking."

Callum was also incorrect.

"This is  _ boring _ ...How much longer do we have to go?"

Jon groaned. "This is the fifth time you've asked this question. Ask again and we'll just let you walk back to the neighborhood." He glared at Martin with an  _ 'I fucking told you'  _ look.

Martin responded by trying to brighten up the mood. "Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself, Callum? I'm sure you have some interesting stories to share."

"Oh, sure! I have tons of cool stories. One time, some of my friends found a dead squirrel and we named him Jed and put Jed and a bunch of leaves and acorns in a microwaves and he literally  _ exploded _ it was the coolest thing ever. And then one time when my mum brought me to the grocery store I managed to open one of the fish tanks and the fish spilled all over the floor, it was so funny to watch them try to clean it all up. I got grounded for so long because of that, though. And then there was that time that I…"

Callum went on and on about all the pranks he pulled and mischief he caused as Martin listened in horror, clearly restraining himself from saying anything that would ruin sudden Callum's chipper attitude.

When it finally became enough, Jon decided they should take a break and sit down. Martin set up a blanket to sit down on and Callum ran off immediately after some poor animal that used to be a regular mammal and now was definitely nothing of the sort. Martin took the moment of silence to let out a sigh of relief.

"I told you bringing him along wasn't a good idea," Jon said in a sing song voice.

"Yeah, I realize that now. God, when you said that teenagers we monsters, I didn't know it was so serious. He put a dead bird in his teacher's  _ lunchbox, _ Jon. I feel like he would shave off all my hair in the middle of the night just for the fun of it!"

Jon laid his head down on Martin's lap, allowing him to play with his hair. "Yeah, teenagers are...something else. Especially the younger ones who are getting their first taste of rebellion. But you were the one who wanted to bring him along, so…"

Martin chose that moment to tug on Jon's hair just a little bit.

"Ow! Sorry, sorry, just thought I should remind you of whose choice this was," He said, biting back a grimace.

"I don't think I can survive much longer with this kid," Martin lamented. "He's so ruthless and unforgiving. And his stories are so gruesome."

"He's 13, darling. What did you expect. Not everyone has been gentle and sweet from the beginning."

"Aw, you think I'm sweet?" He teased.

"I--that's not the point. The point is, you'll get used to it. Or, who knows, maybe you'll help him see the benefit of being a good person."

"Huh. Maybe I will be. Thanks, Jon. I never really thought of that."

"Oh no. Now I'm going to have to listen to gruesome tales of animal torture  _ and  _ a lengthy lesson on why all animals lives are valuable and should be treated as such, aren't I?" Jon asked, suddenly aware of how Martin is always ready to give a 30 minute lecture on the value of a single spider's life.

"Yes, yes you are," Martin said smugly, before giving Jon a quick kiss. "That's my apology in advance."

"Gee, thanks."


End file.
